lutsinar

hati beri siksa...




ku tak berdaya lagi.




till then, xoxo

mimpi ular

so, rite now, i want to share with you about something that happenned to me last nite. well, i had a dream. n it was quite scary n made me scream when i woke up after dreaming. i was dreaming about a snake. a black snake. hmm i think u can guess what is the interpretation of that dream. there's a folklore saying that if u have that kind of dream, that means someone is really interested in you n wants to propose u. hahah funny. so, i dont know what im feeling rite now. who's the luckiest guy who wants to marry me? i already broke up with someone. hm, just dont take it seriously la, n dont believe. just assume this as a sort of amusement. i dont want to marry rite now, long way to go. im 21 n still studying. im gonna finish studying in 2013 (that means im 25 then).





till then, xoxo

situasi

i already threw u out...


hope u dont mind...


i really am sorry...


it seems like we dont have a strong connection...


n i refuse to give it a chance...


to get to know u deeper...


coz it's meaningless...

thanks for the memories...


thanks for the time wasted on u.

ruang hati

hey sahabat,




usahlah kau pulang lagi,




ke ruang hatiku ini,




ku takkan menunggu.








till then, xoxo

the duo beradik

meet aniq n amani, adik beradik yang selalu menghangatkan seisi rumah dengan telatah mereka n they always amuse us. these pictures were taken when they were bored not doing anything which was fun n interesting. at that time, their mum was bz surfing the internet n wasnt able to entertain them (ima, plz dont get me wrong, i didnt mean to say that u r not a great mum, u r actually a great mum). yes, ima, i understand that u need some time to have some rest n be out from any stress that can make u meroyan n u did a good job by doing a thing that u enjoyed most. anak2 ima pun amat memahami keadaan ibunya yg inginkan keseronokan seperti org bujang (like mama mena), so mereka mencari alternatif lain utk berdikari by doing things on their own. at these pics, they were playing together which it was hard for me to understand what game they played but nvr mind, they managed not to rely on their mum some time. n ima, u should be proud of ur kids. they understand u most than any other people. Alhamdulillah.

p/s-we're gonna throw a bday party for amani this sunday, Insya Allah. it's kind of sweet 16 bday party that u watch on mtv.

till then, xoxo

gudbye emmett, hidup butterfingers

this is butterfingers, one of my fav local bands in malaysia. their songs are awesome. actually, to be honest, i wasnt really familiar with their songs n the band also coz before this i was so into international acts n didnt really listen to some malaysian bands. but, this band came to the picture. in 2004, when i was in form 4, i started to listen to their hit which was the chemistry between us, n it made me wonder which band sang this song, it seemed like it was sung by some international band coz that song was so great, kind of nirvana n i nvr thought that this actually came from our local band. i also didnt know that this song actually came out before2004, n being ignorant i was made me find out which band sang this song until i already got the answer in 2008 which was last year, n i already knew that the band was butterfingers. what a miss. i should have listened to them earlier. so pathetic! besides the chemistry, i also love stolen, n all their english hits. i must admit that the most fav track is the chemistry, it really makes my head bang. the best rock song ever i tell u.

last year also, they came out with their new album. a malay album n this was said to be their last album but actually it wasnt. all the songs r great. i love 1000 thn mahu hidup, terus terang, bebas, mati hidup kmbali n so on n so forth. this album actually made my eyes wide open that they r very talented musicians n they have been in this industry for 15 years. it really upsets me that they didnt win the best rock album n the best rock song at the AIM award, n they lost to hujan which i think they deserved to win both categories. im not saying that i hate hujan, hujan is great, but butterfingers is way more better than hujan. aaaah, nvr mind, winning an award is nothing, but producing good songs is way more important.

this is emmett, the vocalist of butterfingers. i cant believe that he actually used to study in mckk n became the top student there, n yet has a great passion in music besides having a good academic background, n how cool is that. he really can sing, n play the guitar extremely well n he has what it takes to be a rockstar. then, he already flew to canada, couple of days ago, coz he's working there. it's not that he left butterfingers, he just left malaysia only. butterfingers is not over yet, n i still hope that they will be together again, producing more great songs. i'll always support butterfingers.

till then, xoxo

my 1st victory

yes... i already passed the theory exam. i got 48/50. Alhamdulillah. that means i can learn how to drive after this. so the driving lesson's gonna be on thursday. i feel like i cant hardly wait to drive.

last night i could not sleep. i slept at 5am. but the sleepless night is paid off.


p/s-i ate mcd twice today, hope that i wont put some kilos...

till then, xoxo

when ida wasnt around...

hhuuhuh. sepanjang ari rase penat sgt? y? coz our maid ida wasnt around. she went to c her husband n her family n will be back here on sunday. things will be easier when she's around at home. yes. it's a sincere confession. tp ble dier blk kjp umah husband dier, that means i have to take care of ima's kids which are aniq n amani when ima goes to work. td, agak memenatkan bg saya n mama coz we took care of them since they r the youngest in our house that need special care n attention. amani..omg i'm telling u she has become more ganas n very2 active. yeah that means she's growing up n sometimes it's funny to hear her say some few words n she has become very2 demanding. hahhah. so of course the kids when searching for ida. me n mama came for the rescue. so, here are some activities that we made to cheer them up..

1) we took them outside the house, aniq main basikal n amani naek kereta sorong, kereta sorong that had been used by muaz since he was 1 yr old. so kami main2 dan bergurau senda bersama-sama sambil mama nyanyi lagu utk cucu-cucu kesayangannya di atas buai.

2) aniq loves cats n so do i. when we were playing outside, we spotted a cat, n i jumped happily that finally i found a cat. saya amat teruja utk m'bela kucing sepanjang cuti ini, so tried panggil kucing tu, but it didnt succeed. that cat was sooo sombong n it made aniq go back cycling again.

3) after playing outside the house, we went inside n mama fed amani n i coaxed aniq by letting him watch thomas n friends at my laptop. aniq looked very2 keen to watch n sing the song. he looked very cute i tell u. then, suddenly muaz n aan interrupted n wanted to watch ultraman instead thomas n friends. so aniq just obliged hearing the command made by his elder cousins. so i let them watch it.(with my guidance ok. i wont let them watch for hours. it can corrupt children's mind).

4) aniq n amani played together with aan n muaz. the 3 boys fought. aniq still could not fit with muaz n aan. they fought n they cried n they fought again n they cried again. sgt penat melayan kerenah diorg n it made mama forget to take a nap for a while.

then, around 6 pm angah n family were off to blk kmpung n me n mama were counting every minute, hoping that abg ain n ima would be home early since mama wanted to go to a sermon with ayah at surau. so, after a few minutes, the arrival of black vios made us happy, happy to know that the taking care session was finally over. aniq n amani sgt gembira dgn kepulangan org tua mereka dari tmpt krja, n mama went to her room n got ready to go to surau n i went off to my room, opened my laptop n got to listen to my fav song at myspace which is 'ruang hati kembali sebentar lagi' which is sung by auburn. hahah i love that song. uhuhu nak download tak reti, so terpaksa bukak page myspace auburn utk dgr lagu tu. (hmmm nasib baik da psg streamyx, so bole dgr lagu2 best). hehehehe

p/s-my test is due 2mrw. am i ready? i dont even know.

till then, xoxo

andy

owh andy.. u r getting even hotter nowadays. i still cant believe that there's a rumour saying that u r dating with marsha AF. u better leave that woman.. she's not worth it.. hahaahah

cant wait to meet u at ur gig next month.. for the 4th time...

p/s-im beginning to hate linkin park rite now. their new song sucks.

till then, xoxo

aniq yg entah paper

hmm, as u can c in these pictures, the lil boy is my nephew. my 5th nephew n now i have 8 nepwhews n 1 niece. and 1 baby is on the way which is ipa's. owh, i forgot to tell his name. well he's name is aniq, he's 2 yrs of age n he's very2 chubby n he makes everone feel geram with him n everyone wants to pinch his cheeks. aniq likes to sing n the funny part is he's the only one who sings religiously, compared with my other nephews. i think he has the musical talent n how cute is that. but i hope he's not gonna be an artist or whatsoever in the future coz we r expecting him to be a good man with a noble job. im not saying that im underestimating musicians in this world (though i also love music), it's because as u can c nowadays entertainment bizz has more negative sides than the positive sides. owh forget it. i dont want to talk about that coz its not worth it...rite? entertainment thing is very tiring....

aniq lives with us n he has his cousins to play with which r muaz 5, aan n nawfal, 3 yrs old. aniq is the baby of the bunch. aniq tries so hard to fit in with them each day, sometimes he is accepted to play with them sometimes he's not. he also finds it difficult to mingle with nawfal n they always fight. oh its normal for children n it's a character building, sooner or later they will learn how important it is to keep the relationship stronger n i want them to be close when they grow up. i dont want them to be like me. when i was very young, i was really close with my cousins like mira n shafiq, we always played, n did normal stuff like any kid would do, but it didnt last when we grew up. we barely spoke, just smiled to each other. maybe we were shy because we were not kids anymore. but thank God, me n mira still can contact each other on friendster eventhough we r seldom to do so. she never fails to give me testimonials n i nvr fail to do so to her. she's studying medicine in egypt rite now so i wish her all the best in whatever she does...

so the moral of the story is.... i dont know. hahahha. it has many things to be taken seriously. i know u can figure it out.

p/s-im struggling sooo damn hard to study driving lesson. n im not ready yet to take the exam. lols...

till then, xoxo

driving lesson

ok. im learning to drive rite now n trying to get a license that i should have taken that after spm 3 years ago, hmm so outdated kan saya ni. org lain da pandai drive n even one of my friends hit a man after he got a license n sadly the man died. kesian kan? rasanya kwn saya tu maybe trauma nak drive. ok. actually, frankly to say that im not interested to drive. y? ok im giving u the reasons of y i am so not into driving..

1) actually i dont have the guts to drive coz im scared, psychotic, psychofreak. if i drive, i might hit ppl just like my friend did n maybe i would be put in jail.

2) saya seorg clumsy, senang gabra n menggelabah if im doing something new n hard. im not really confident enough to drive. its so pathetic!

3) hmmm rasenya i dont have to drive coz im hiring a driver one day. hahha byk ke duit nak hire driver cik mena oi?!

4) i hate challenges n driving is very, indeed, really challenging. camping kat hutan pun x suka, inikan pula benda yg susah mcm bawak kereta ni.

so i already gave u the 4 reasons of y i hate to drive, but i should get through of what im doing rite now. just keep doing it, n never turn back. rasenya driving isnt that bad like what i thought before. i already attended the theory class n it made me badly want to drive now. tp before that i have to sit an exam. the laws of the road exam so gmbr kat atas tu gmbr buku revision n exercises that i have to finish studying n completing all the questions. 500 questions. so cik mena, tlg study ye. tlg la study coz u have paid so much money to take this license. i hope that i can pass. Amin.

p/s- actually takut giler bangang nak mampus amik exam tu wei....

till then, xoxo

kasut baru

ahahahaaa. this is my new pair of shoes that i just bought during my hang out with aini at mid valley. cool isnt it? i know it's drop dead gorgeous n i think girls like me deserve to have that. being a nerd i am made me want to buy that one for my walking to classes at upsi next semester after seeing my friends wearing high heels in campus whereas i was still stuck in my flat shoes thinking that i was quite ashamed to wear any heels in class n how i envied my friends for having the guts to wear heels. so pathetic! so this is kind of revenge n i want to look fabulous wearing that in class. hahhaa (trust me it wasnt my intention to brag). ok so i just want to tell u what i actually looked up for during the hang out. i actually wanted to buy a dress or a top since i havent been wearing any cute dress in a long time for 5 months (i felt it was a bad idea to wear that one in upsi though i had brought my dresses during the registration). it is because we as future teachers are thoughtful enough to wear any appropriate clothes like baju kurung n stuff n how its gonna be like if u r wearing that one while u r teaching in class. u r totally not a good role model to students. hahahha so way back to my story at mid valley, i was searching for a cute dress in all stores like padini, mng, pdi, bum, diesel, nichi n finally aini n i reached to the last store which was elle. n thank God it was still on sale n many outfits were up to 50% less from the actual price i thought this was great. FREAKING GREAT. n suddenly my eyes were captured by a cute pink dress n i thought i wanted it badly coz it made me kind of cute n lovely if i wore it. so, i grabbed n headed to a changing room n OMG. it was stunning n aini approved that it was indeed cute. n suddenly my thought hit me that i looked kind of fat when wearing that. hmmm so i didnt buy it thinking that i am short, n it would be great wearing that if i were tall enough. hahhaha so that day, i only bought the shoes n a book to remedy my mood. hheeh its ok. i have plenty of times to find cute dresses after my sis tika promised me that she will treat me for shopping after getting her first salary. hmmm thanks sis. u deserve to have all the credits in the world.

p/s-already checked up estranged gigs n they will be in kl for 2 shows n i cant really rmmbr the venues that they will be playing, hopefully i can go. YES!!!

till then, xoxo

big apple donut

last friday, i went hanging out with aini at mid valley. since ive been craving to eat yummy desserts (yela kat tg malim tu mana ada big apple ke, scrt recipe ke n it wont have one pun, trust me), we headed to big apple donuts cafe n manged to buy some donuts. oh ya, i was eating mocha lisa donut in that picture, n it was sooo yummy, delicious (way more better that dunkin donut i tell u)... u better grab one, it really makes ur mouth water....tp kat gmbr tu my face didnt really look like i enjoyed eating that, but actually i was thrilled eating it n it was very enthusiastic. yela cover line....mase makan tuh, mulut comot giler dgn krim mocha tu, so i would not want to destroy my pic with the comot look, coz it was hideous (wei jatuh maruah aku)..

hmm i did a little shopping too but later i will post about it coz i havent taken a pic of my new pair of shoes n u will love to c it...(nak show off kasut baru boleh? heheehhe)

till then, xoxo

jika ku seorang robot

jika ku seorang robot,
nombor-nombor darahku,
jasadku import eksport,
besi logam dagingku,
sinar matahari solar,
nyawaku tenaga elektrik,
meneliti lebuhraya,
mengawasi pasaraya,
tak perlu ada komplot,
kawan-kawan semua robot.....

ooohhh i love this song, but sadly cant really remember the lyrics clearly, so i just stated what i remember most. it is sung by monolog, i think its an indie band. if u r so into underground, indie or local music scence, probably u might know this song. the music is fresh, n has some robotic melody. the title is very attractive n lets u know what it feels like to be a robot, but i would never wish to be a robot, coz it's stiff, numb, n never has the chance to do desirable things. what a miss isnt it? sometimes a robot is set to be like a slave which it serves or entertains people to do things like house chores n stuff. maybe there's a sole good thing of being a robot which is it will never deal with any discrimination n will never hurt others because a robot is made not to do cruel things.

but whatever it is, im grateful to be a human because there are lots of things, missions, goals and ambitions to be accomplished, for me to make a living, a better living n leads me to live happily in this world. people also can live at ease if they dont discriminate, they dont do evil stuff besause it's gross.

''if everyone cared, nobody died.
if everyone loved, nobody cried''

till then, xoxo

p/s-i cant find the song to be put here, do check out the song at xfresh.fm where it gives u 100 percent malaysian songs especially indie n underground music.

welcome!

hello, at last i already have my own blog. im gonna write more n more about things that have crossed my mind. let the words do the story!

happy reading!