free

i have done my sentences,
so i deserve to enjoy every bit of freedom.


p/s: i am not an ex-convict, hello...

deutschland...

i confided to my family about my wish to further my study in germany n my dad went cynical and was like 'r u serious? who's going to pay all the fees n stuff?' n i was taken aback n disappointed about him not showing his support to me... daddy, i will work hard n save up much much money to afford myself in germany... mummy, i will make myself become fluent in german... die ende

that was quite a match...

Alhamdulillah, malaysia won..
i think the goal keeper really nailed it..
he can be the second manuel neuer.
enough said.
iam really proud.

the only thing i think is YOU...

the saying 'when u tried ur best but u dont succeed' is really killing me..
iam scared if it doesn't go on my way..
iam scared that this thing doesnt do any justice to me..



i've been after this one big thing for the whole year..
now iam trying my best n i know i deserve to win..




O Allah i seek for your mercy..please guide me whenever i seem to be lost, n please guide me whenever i am in the right track so that i dont cross the line.

this i promise you

i'll take them to places that they have not been to,

i'll buy them fancy cars,

i'll build them a mansion,




i know they dont really need pricey things and money, all they need is love. all they need is having me by their side. but giving love isnt that much, but it will be thoughtful and nicer enough for me to spend some quids to make them happy.
insya Allah...

negativity is killing me..

hari ini, sy tolong mama masak sbb esok kan da nak raya haji. before that i made a promise to my mum that i would wake up earlier in the morning (memandangkan sy selalu bgn at 12pm juz because of i cant take a slightest temptation to go off bed). so i woke up at 9 am, feeling dizzy sebab mlm td tdo pkul 2.45 (was watching sundal bolong) n made myself go to the kitchen...kerja2 menggoreng dan memotong bawang, halia, n stuff pun da bermula....

mama really relied on me to help her prepare the meals disebabkan kakak2 sy pergi bekerja. ayah buat ketupat n it just left me n mama in the kitchen. sambil2 menggoreng ayam utk dibuat ayam kicap, sy pun ambil kesempatan utk makan breakfast iaitu pancakes from mcd yg dibeli oleh angah. entah mcm mana lps tu sy tiba2 rasa sakit perut..then i made an excuse from mama to go to the toilet.. next i took a shower n changed my clothes n tiba2 rasa mengantuk n terus landing kat katil...zzzzzzz...

sy bgn pkul 2.05 pm dan fikir kerja masak ayam kicap x siap lg... i headed to the kitchen, feeling a pang of agony n annoyed... sy pun masak dlm keadaan x da mood. sampai bibik pun takut nak tegur..hahah dia pun terkejut tengok cara sy membaling bawang2 dlm periuk utk ditumis...tengah masak2, tiba2 kucing sy curi satu ketul ayam kat dapur, i was pissed n said the F word...n then i said S__T. wow..i supposed i should not have said the words so loud that everyone could hear the words.. i know everyone swears but i just crossed the line...i even made faces to my sister, just to let her know how tired i was doing all these stuff...i know what i did was wrong n i just could not help myself out. it just came out..

i thought, i was just making things up. i always make the smallest become the biggest...in the end, it turned out well n the lauk tasted really good n i could smile again. sy tahu sy x patut melepaskan kemarahan sy kat org lain..kita kena ikhlas buat sesuatu kan? n i learn from it..mistakes dont mean a thing if u dont regret them..

to my family, i really am sorry...






till then..

happy birthday lahmy....

i once made a saying that not in a million years i would ever watch soccer or football because i found it annoying and was a stupid game. well it was ages ago. n now things have changed n i would never thought that i could be so into football thingy. it was all because of the 2010 world cup n i glued myself infront of the tv just to watch my favourite team which was germany (n still is germany) play the match even though it was 2-4 in the morning. i loved how they forfeited england n argentina n they were all just stunning.

lahm is cute isnt he? he really melts my heart (owh i sounded like a teeny bopper when seeing cute guys huh? did i?)...he's considered one of the best defenders in the world n is my favourite player. he doesnt score many for germany, but when he does, it goes whoooaaaa. he captained the germans at the world cup n i must say he did a good job. i still dont get it why they returned the arm band to ballack(: i still hope that lahm will stay as a captain.

its never too late to wish my favorite captain happy birthday. i hope he will score as many as he can. i cant wait to see him play at the next euro n world cup.

philipp lahm ist der beste (am trying to learn german but learning it makes my mouth dry..)

till then.