the misuse of streamyx

well, it seems like the streamyx thingy has taken its toll on me. im such a misuser. im misusing this privilage. u know, i never felt this good before. before this we used a dial up connection n it wasnt really good la coz it was a bit lembap. having a fast internet connection really makes me feel better-i can blog as much as i can, i can chat with my friends on ym, n the worst thing which is my guilty pleasure is i can watch my favourite videos on you tube. hahahha, i cant afford to miss it. last nite i watched my fav filipino drama, pangako sayo till 4 in the morning n it was totally a bliss! but im worried that this thing is killing me from not doing something which is vital than surfing the internet 24/7. well here are the consequences of my bad habit (which i enjoy doing it!).

1) i love watching videos-estranged, disney cartoons, dramas, songs n the list goes on. so i end up logging on to youtube. it's a must for me if im surfing the internet. watching these things really make my eyes wide open n i wont feel sleepy n it seems like i sleep only 2-3 hours at night. it's indeed not a good thing for me coz after praying subuh prayer, i'll continue my sleep untill 12 am, n i'll feel guilty afterwards coz i let my mum cook for lunch alone whereas im thoughtful enough to help her cook too. sorry mama, ur daughter is trying to wake up early in order to help u finish preparing lunch! but how? i dont know, sometimes i hate myself for not having the courage to do something that can make my mum be proud of me, like cooking.

2) i've always wanted to indulge myself in some spiritual things like qiam, reading quran, mathurat n stuff n i didnt have much time to do that kind of thing back in upsi where i was smothered by study n exam n i was thinking that i wanted to do that during holiday. n now i barely do that n im kind of lazy to please Allah by doing these recommended things n it sounds like im disgracing mayself. Ya Allah, plz forgive me.

3) i just bought a good book which is 'does my head look big in this?' n proudly say that i havent finished reading it n it's very embarrassing because i bought this book about 3 weeks ago n i should have finished reading this book a day after i bought it. huh! i've always been keen to books n reading a new book only takes me 1-2 days to read it (im not saying im a fast n good reader, i always make sure that my dictionary is always with me when im reading). it feels like i want to slap myself.

4) there's a writing competion held by nst paper n i really want to join it. until now, i havent made any progression to start writing the essay because im enjoying myself surfing the internet! i hope that i can finish writing it since the due date is on 26th june. can i make this possible? i dont know...

5) i have a passion which is writing short stories n i want to start writing my own story because the idea is there n is waiting to be put on a paper n is viciously procrastinated by me having too much fun on surfing the internet.

ok. it ends here. i hope i wont screw things up again n i want to fix myself if only i dont pamper myself a lot by sticking infront of this innocent pink dell. thanks for letting me get my frustration out. gudbye.


till then, xoxo